Mustard Seeds

I am currently taking a class at church on Spiritual Gifts. I figured that sarcasm is only just starting to be recognized as one so I should probably learn what mine really is.

Based on the test mine is Faith.

I am still struggling with this revelation.

In my mind, my faith is small. Like when God told me to go to Haiti for 6 weeks. And I thought "uh yeah... right."

And when God is telling me to go to Port au Prince with a church that I don't know anyone at for a week.

And when I am a junior in college and it's a month before the trip and my car bites the dust and I don't have much money raised.

I am looking up at God going.. really??

Then God reminds me not to put Him in a box. He reminds me that He gives me grace when my mind takes over my thoughts and I begin to think rationally about things.

Because... let's be honest... not sending out letters asking for support and posting a couple times about it. And then getting desperate and being completely honest about it all... I wasn't REALLY trusting God by doing all of that. I was thinking "okay, say something to make people understand that you need money to go. like this is not a drill. we are talking you are committed and you owe this money no matter what and and and"

But then God tells me to be quiet. He tells me not to worry because His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He gives me grace. He gives me emails from people who have committed money. He surrounds me with people who pray for me continually for the needs that I have. He gives me what I don't deserve. Especially because I think rationally and do too much math.


God leaves me today with a total of $175 that I have left to raise. $175 until I am fully completely totally funded.

So maybe I need to start relying on my spiritual gift of faith some more.. because if we are told to have the faith of a mustard seed (Matt 17:20), then I guess I should have the faith of peppercorn.