a birthday weekend

This past weekend was my birthday. I officially hit two decades old.

It was quite a strange day for me, my parents were gone for an overnighter, and my brother slept over at his friend's house. So I was home alone, which is rare on a weekend. I made myself a special breakfast of french toast, made my five dresses, and finished up some more small baby blankets to take to pass out at Bethesda.

My lowest point was easily modeling my dresses for my dog, which meant I had to wake him up from sleeping under a blanket. Which meant that he gave me a dirty look before reburying his head. Stinker.

Unfortunately my day wasn't much better than this. I have confessions to make.

Saturday was a low point for me. I was tormented with a panic attack. The realization that in two short weeks I would be leaving all that is familiar around me and going miles away from my bed, my family, my small group, my best friends, high speed wifi internet, WalMart... I mean seriously. Basically I had told myself months back that my birthday was the day that I would get all of my prescriptions filled and officially start packing. The devil attacked me in a wicked way Saturday. I allowed myself to have doubts and fears as to whether or not I really want to go. I was scared. I was anxious. I was sinning.

I went to bed after a tearful conversation with my best friend. Where she assured me that this is what I am meant to do and that I am strong enough to do this. I spilled my fears into God and read Psalms.

I woke up renewed and refreshed. They showed a video in service of Haiti, and the pastors at Zion Church, our partner church, and it was God's answer to my fears.

I sit here in my bed staring at suitcases on my floor. One half filled with school supplies, with my hope that I will be able to fit 2 weeks worth of clothing and six weeks of toiletries in the other half. Saturday I would have been unable to handle this sight, but through God's strength I am able to process this thought and be confident in God's desire for me to go to Haiti. I am thankful for friends like Scott and Meg who will already be down in Haiti when I am arriving. I am thankful for friends in Erie who have knowledge of what to take with me. I am forever thankful for God's provision to allow me to bring school supplies, extra clothing, and excess money.

Many people have asked how to contact me while I am down in Haiti. The best way would be to email me at my personal email address: katiejobczynski@yahoo.com. I also have a Skype account which I am hoping will work as long as I only use the voice calling. My Skype user name is katielynn.j. I can also be contacted through my Facebook page. I will be keeping this blog updated regularly. I am looking into a "Magic Jack" to assist in making phone calls. If I do get one I will provide those who inquire with the number.

Please continue to pray for me as my State aid still has not gone through properly. Also pray for strength for me as I begin to say goodbye to friends, babies, and family these next two weeks.